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Editorial:
"Know Thyself"
Alwyn Thomson
Comment:
Illiberal Democracy
Alwyn Thomson
From
the Director: Good News People?
David W Porter
Balancing
on the Edge
Tony Davidson
Grateful
to God
David McMillan
Space
& Freedom
David Hewitt
Imaginative
Engagement
Keith Getty
No
longer at ease with this dispensation?
Mike Wardlow
Living
with our deepest differences
Os Guinness
Deep
Questions
Johnston
McMaster
Steady
presence
Cecelia Clegg
No
longer lonely
Joseph Liechty
Something
to give
Ingri Sakaria
Bible
study series: Faith in the future
David
W Porter
Review:
The Elusive Quest, Reconciliation in N I by Norman Porter
Bill
Brown
Review:
Journeying Towards Reconciliation, A Song for Ireland by Ruth Patterson
Lynda
Gould
Review:
Islam in Conflict:Past Present and Future by Peter G Riddell &
Peter Cotterell
Alwyn
Thomson
Review:
The R Option - Building Relationships as a Better Way of Life by
Michael Schluter & David John Lee
Anna
Rankin
Review:
Blue Diary by Alice Hoffman
Glenn
Jordan
Summer
School Poetry
Various
For
God and His Glory Alone:
Study 6: Truth
REVIEW:
The R Option – Building Relationships as a Better Way of Life
by Michael Schluter & David John Lee
Reviewed by Anna Rankin
We all exist in a network of relationships the quality of which determines how happy and effective we are. It sounds so obvious, doesn't it? Relationships are key to our self-understanding, happiness, reputation, self-esteem, balance in our personal lives and social support. Yet few of us give much thought to making them work.
The authors of this book suggest that "if we maintained our cars the way we maintain our relationships, most of us would be in the ditch". But the fact is, most of us still manage to keep going. Our relationships are often in poor shape, and on some level we are aware of this, but we choose not to do anything about it. Most of the time we are able to work around the discomfort these untended relationships cause in our lives rather than actually addressing them head on.
In their previous collaboration, The R Factor, Schluter and Lee showed the far-reaching effects of poor relationships on a societal level. If relationships don't work, the quality of life goes down and organisational performance suffers. Thus The R Factor puts forward a relational approach to policy – making and management.
In a shift to the personal level, The R Option calls itself "a lifestyle book" and suggests that we need to get serious about prioritising relationships in order to lead happier and more effective lives together.
Good relationships don't happen by accident – they require work. The premise of the book is simple: What happens if we take seriously the idea of prioritising relationships, not just in certain contexts, but systematically across the whole of life? Intentionality is the key strategy: conscious planning and review is required as we are often handicapped by sheer habit. This book is a good starting point for the process of discovering what it might mean to put relationships first and making relational choices.
The pursuit of right-relationships lies at the heart of the Bible. Relationships underlie not only Christian ethics, but our whole understanding about the nature of God. In seeking to place the way we relate at the forefront of all our activities, the book has strong Christian basis, but by illustrating the universal benefit of building good relationships, it is designed to be read by anyone. The aim of the book is discussion not prescription and this is borne out in its tone.
The 19 short chapters make it an easy read with personal stories and anecdotes illustrating the main points. Addressing a whole range of issues such as time, communications, money, lunch, leisure, friendship, soul mates, sex, loss, forgiveness, roots, health, schooling, cities, security and strangers, the authors outline the challenge each issue presents. Numbered points give guidance on how to "take the R option" in each area. These serve as good departure points for discussion and study, though some may prefer a book with more structured questions to work through.
The value of this book is in its application. The issues raised are probably best aired in the context of a group of people committed to developing better relationships with each other, their community and the world. Putting "the R option" into practice is the challenge, finding ways to do it together may help. The Relationships Foundation's own website www.relationshipsfoundation.org offers some suggestions for action. One is to invite a group of people to get together to discuss a chapter/topic over dessert and coffee with the aim of getting to know each other better and explore issues which few of us take time out to specifically address.
In a world full of house, garden and wardrobe makeovers, maybe it is time more of us gave our relationships some purposeful attention and regular maintenance in order to improve our collective quality of life. This is one book which you may find helpful.
ANNA RANKIN is Resource Co-ordinator with ECONI.
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