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Introduction:
Not Of This World
Derek Poole
Comment:
Is You Is or Is You Ain't?
Joyce Greenaway
Truth
to Live
David Hewitt
Evangelicalism
at its Best
Patrick Mitchel
Not
of this World...A Personal Reflection
Glenn Jordan
Review
1: An Exercise in Self-Reflection
Derek Tidball
How
Often Should We Forgive?
Alan Wilson
Review
2: An Exercise in Propaganda
Wallace Thompson
Review
3: I am not an Evangelical...
Malachi O'Doherty
Faith
and Practice - Maurice Kinkead
Ruth Hutchinson
HOW
OFTEN SHOULD WE FORGIVE?
Matthew 18 is one of those chapters that people love to misquote, especially
verse 20. Jesus is teaching on forgiveness and reconciliation. An in-depth
study of the chapter will show that he expects his disciples to take reconciliation
and forgiveness seriously. When the disciples first heard this teaching
and the radical nature of authentic forgiveness, their reaction was summarised
by Peter’s question:
They may be in pain, and because of that they feel that to forgive again is unreasonable and unfair. The hurt may be recent or it may be pain of the past that has not been dealt with in a spiritual way. Sometimes people try to get off the hook of forgiveness, because they are hurting and even though that has nothing to do with the person whom they need to forgive, they attribute that pain to them anyway. Limited Understanding Of Forgiveness
When we say in our hearts “How many times shall I forgive?” we are revealing that our understanding of forgiveness is incomplete. The very essence and nature of forgiveness is such that it would never put a limit to what it is prepared to do in order to be reconciled with an offending person. This does not mean that when we have a forgiving heart, we bury our heads in the sand, ignore our pain, and pretend that everything is fine. Nor does it mean we do not hold people accountable and responsible for their actions. However, it does mean that if we have a forgiving heart we will not become hard and bitter. We will not close ourselves off from others, or withhold love from our enemy. When we ask, "How many times?" we limit our grace, our love and our mercy. We convince ourselves that because we have forgiven a number of times in the past, we are exonerated if we do not forgive in the present. We can even justify holding on to anger and bitterness. We think to ourselves, “I can do no more. They have pushed me too far.” Forgiveness Is A Rule
Peter was a devout Jew, and as such he knew all about the rabbinical teaching on forgiveness. It was a settled rule that forgiveness should not be extended more than three times. Therefore, if a good Jew extended forgiveness three times, he was fulfilling the rabbinical teaching. For the religious Jew in Jesus’ day forgiveness had become like everything else in his religious life, a rule, an act, a performance. Forgiveness was never an expression of the heart, or of reconciliation or love - it was just a rule. When we forgive as a rule and not as an authentic expression of love, we become self-righteous and proud, and we look down upon the object of our forgiveness with a sense of superiority. There is no change in our relationship with the person we have apparently forgiven. Expressing false forgiveness as a rule is just as bad, if not worse than showing no forgiveness at all. There will be no healing or reconciliation. To forgive is to be honest and real. It is to open our heart and express our pain. We become open and vulnerable, sharing our pain with the person we need to forgive, not to add to their guilt or increase their shame, but in order that they might see it has not affected our capacity to love them. Jesus’ Reply
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. His reply to Peter is amazing. Basically he is saying that true forgiveness does not keep a record of how many times it has been expressed. Can you imagine the emotional energy and resources it would require to keep a record of how many times you have supposedly forgiven someone? What Jesus is saying is, “Peter, you want a number by which you can measure how many times you should forgive someone. Well how about seventy-seven times? It will be very easy to lose count, so make sure your record is correct; be careful that you don’t forgive seventy-eight times, for that would be breaking the rule.” The point Jesus is making is about having a heart that forgives, a heart that is not counting, a heart that does not keep a record of wrong, a heart that has nothing to do with keeping rules, but expresses love. I realise that many people reading this may have suffered sorrow and grief beyond words or imagination, and you are finding it hard to forgive. You may not even want to forgive because of the severe hurt you have suffered. Maybe you are echoing Peter’s question. Jesus understands that pain. He shared it on the cross. However, I believe that through the process of forgiving others he brings healing into our own hearts. Alan Wilson is a member of Hamilton Road Baptist Church, Bangor.
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