Introduction: God's Sovereignty
David Porter

Comment: Love Your Neighbour
Michael Wardlow

Wish You Were Here
David McMillan

Victims of Violence
David Bolton

Celebrating the Past
Philip Johnston

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VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE
The generosity of those who have suffered much has at times moved us greatly, and their response can point us to new ways of seeing our circumstances and our relationships

As a community we must face up to the fact that terrible things have been done; terrible and unjustifiable things. The violence visited upon individuals, families and local communities has been of a measure which is at times unspeakable. To name some of the offences against people is to give us some insight into their suffering and loss. The indiscriminate violence which overwhelms in an instance; the sense of betrayal when someone has been targeted; the murder at a person's front door in front of his children; the violence which is so awful, that families cannot even view the remains; the disfigurement and disabling of people who still live with the scars, the memories and the pain. These and many other experiences speak to us of terrible and unjustifiable events which are beneath the dignity and nobility of the human race.

The impact on survivors and those who mourn is of greatest significance. It is not alone the fact that someone has been killed, but also the manner of their death, that is significant. The fact of someone's death in these awful circumstances cannot be separated from the means of their death. Death and injury, caused by human intention and action (what Simone Weil calls 'affliction'), brings with it complications and adds to the experience of victimisation of the one who suffers. For many, they have known multiple deaths and injuries, where the sorrows of one experience are overtaken by the next. So people who mourn or who nurse within them the disability and pain of injury, experience their loss within the context of the violence. The violence, its causes and its history, are to some extent the framework within which they understand their loss.

Ironic as it may seem, the absence of violence will require an adjustment of the perception of loss and bereavement. We can expect some will make this transition; others may not, leading to long term and entrenched experiences of grief and traumatisation. Another issue is relevant. Many children have never known the absence of violence and quite a few have grown up in families where death and injury is part of their inheritance. For these, there may be long term adverse emotional consequences.

Acknowledging and Remembering
Even now, one senses amidst the optimism of recent years, the belie that all of this loss and pain is being somehow ameliorated. This belie takes a number of forms.

There is, first of all, the straight forward 'forgetting'. Things are better now; new and better thing( occupy us and the loss and suffering slips from our minds.

Then there is a view that the absence of violence may actually make things better for those who suffer. I feel this is true to some extent. One sensed this from people who have been through the mill when the cease-fires were announced. But the absence of violence also accentuated the futility of it all. Questions like the following arise. Where has 25 years of violence brought us? Why then, was my son, my wife, my father, or my friend killed? Why do I have to carry within me the physical and mental scars of the attack made upon me? Why do I have to watch the suffering and distress of my relative, or the destructive changes in their personality, because of what has been done to them?

The absence of violence may relieve the dread of what happened to them, being visited on others. It means that they will not wake, virtually every morning, to hear that another atrocity has been carried out, and to then relive the awful reminders of their own loss or injury. However, the absence of violence does not take away the loss, the terror, the pain, and all that flows from those experiences. For many, they will remain.

As the communities in Northern Ireland look for a settlement we must not cease to acknowledge the enormity and awfulness of what has happened to individuals and families

There is also the possibility of selective amnesia, in that we only remember the things that are comfortable to remember. It was interesting to read in an article by George Boyce entitled Ireland and the First World War, (History Ireland, vol.2, No.3 Autumn 1994) how the State was able to remember those who had participated in the Easter Rising in 1916, but felt unable to remember those who had participated in the First World War.

The challenge therefore, is to consider how the experiences, the losses and sufferings, can continue to be acknowledged. Consider how one might feel, if after a family bereavement, no one sent a card, no one telephoned to see how one was, and on return to work, no one said they were sorry for your trouble.

How empty and desolate one would feel; how marginalised; how uncared for. We all need our losses and sadnesses to be acknowledged. It is for this reason, that while the communities in Northern Ireland continue to look for a settlement, that we must not cease to recognise the enormity and the awfulness of what has happened to individuals and families. This is something we must each learn to do as individuals and there may be ways in which collectively, we can acknowledge the suffering and losses that for many, go on, and on, and on.

Learning through Suffering, Affliction and Loss
For those who have suffered, things will never be the same again. We must not think that responses of anger and outrage imply the person is seeking vengeance or that they are bitter about their experiences. Anger and outrage are legitimate and wholesome responses. Vengeance and bitterness are destructive of the person, and are not the same as anger and outrage. Likewise, we should not think that those who express good will, do not in their own moments suffer and mourn. These observations indicate that there is no standard response and also indicate that one cannot compare the suffering of one person or family with another. We suffer in ourselves our own suffering.

The generosity of those who have suffered much has at times moved us greatly, and their response can point us to new ways of seeing. Affliction can lead to a re-orientation of one's life and a re-ordering of one's priorities, sympathies and values. Whilst it can be said that things will never be the same, this can be true in positive as well as negative ways. The positive outcomes do not mean that the suffering was worth it. On the contrary, most if not everyone would wish that things were the way they had been before the violence affected them or their family. Nevertheless, we can do well, by taking account of the suffering of those who have been afflicted, and in a sense to see their suffering as our own, to question our values, reconsider our priorities and sympathies, and determine how new ways can be found to overcome the tragedy that has befallen us all.

David Bolton trained as a social worker and has worked extensively with people bereaved and psychologically traumatised by tragic and violent experiences. He is currently manager of Community Services in the Omagh area and Chairperson of the Fermanagh District Partnership for Peace and Reconciliation. This article is taken from a paper submitted to the Forum for Peace and Reconciliation.